This kind damages my faith that funny videos on YouTube are mostly real. I mean if they weren’t real, TOSH.0 wouldn’t be very funny.

After seeing this video I’m not even sure the one with the reporter pooping her pants is real!

Reporter pooping her pants

When they showed you what she was actually saving money on, it was no wonder she was feeding her family on the cheap. What usually has coupons? Cereal, mac cheese, cookies, hamburger helper… You don’t see too many coupons on steak and shrimp. There will be sales on these types of things but there won’t be any double coupon days.

If carbs were healthy, I could eat cereal and toast for breakfast, mac cheese for lunch, and the Tuscan Pasta from Pizza Hut for dinner. Have you seen this thing? It’s like 3 pounds of pasta for 8.99. Says it can feed a family of four. I think bread sticks come with it.

I could buy a crate of Kraft Cheese and Macaroni to feed me for the year for like $40 bucks.

Low carb diet is much more pricey. When I cook I pretty much use all fresh ingredients that has that spoilage factor. Mac cheese and rice will keep for an eternity. I use a lot of cheese, meats, chickens, and vegetables when I cook. I suppose you could freeze some of this stuff but things taste a lot worse when you try to freeze and defrost it. It might still be edible but it won’t be very good.

I’ll say bathroom now. Who the hell cares if there’s no bath in it?? There’s a bathroom at work that has a shower stall in it. Is that a bathroom?!?

That’s not even grammar correction. I don’t know what that is.

On the 4th day in Mexico, we noticed that they didn’t fill our mini bar. It wasn’t really a mini bar like you see in a fancy hotel. It had a couple of sodas and a couple of beers. It also had a bag of potato chip and some other random snacks. What is impressive about the minibar is that It did however have 4 bottles of hard liquor available at all times. We were kind of annoyed that day with housekeeping not giving us our snacks and diet soda so we called the front desk and told them that we wanted it. When they told us they were on the way, we decided to get out of their hair and go to the pool.

We hung out at the pool for a couple of hours and when we came back, our room was totally refreshed. We had fresh pillow chocolates and plenty of chips and soda.

That night, I decided that I had not seen my wallet for a while and wanted to check on it. I checked my suitcase and my laptop bag and couldn’t find it. It wasn’t in the safe, it didn’t fall underneath the bed, it was no where to be found. My initial reaction was either I dropped it in when we were in town, I was pick pocketed, or that house keeping stole it. Now I’m not the kind of person that always assumes housekeeping are a suspicious bunch. It just that when we first got there, we over heard this lady saying that her laptop was stolen from her room but she found it odd they didn’t take the power supply.

We turn the room over and decide that my wallet isn’t there. Of course I then had to start thinking about what was missing and what cards I had to cancel. I carry many credit cards and decide that I have to cancel four of them. One debit BOA card, two BOA credit cards, and one Chase CC.

Now in the states, it’s extremely easy to cancel a credit card. You just call the 1-800 number and you’re done. In Mexico, however, it’s much more difficult. Even if you’re willing to pay the extra long distance costs, a US 1-800 number cannot be dialed in Mexico. It just can’t. We tried calling the operator and having them dial it for us but they told us they couldn’t. On the website, there’s a number to call in Mexico but the operator could not dial that for us either. Mandy was finally able to find an international collect call that worked but doing this for two different banks took hours. What’s worse is the number to cancel the credit cards was different than the one to cancel the debit card even though it’s the same bank. When they were supposed to transfer me they hung up on me!

Needless to say this wasn’t a very fun evening but we went to one of the free restaurants later anyways.

That morning, as we’re cleaning our hotel room getting ready to leave, Mandy decides to lift this piece of felt in the closet safe. Low and behold, there’s my wallet! Basically the closet is dark and it has this piece of felt in it that I thought was the safe bottom. Instead, the piece of felt is very loose and created an image like the safe is empty. I’ve actually seen a magic trick once where the bottom of the box is raised to make it look like it was empty.

I was pretty happy. I scarcely cared that I canceled 4 credit cards. There were other things in there like loose checks, my work key card, my work discount card, my benefits cards, and my driver’s license which would have been huge pains to replace.

So alls well that ends well and my faith in Mexican humanity is restored.

So Mandy and I are at the Alamo Draft House watching Inception. Three dudes sit to the left of me. Mandy is on the aisle. The guy right beside me is in khaki pants and has a tucked in polo shirt. The guy to the left of that guy looks kind of sloppy. Chubby and wearing a t-shirt. They look like normal guys.

Before the official previews start, these guys start talking kind of loud. I assume it’s because they’re in a row configuration so the guy on the end has to talk a little louder than normal for the guy two seats down to hear. At first I don’t think much of it because everyone’s talking at this point.

The previews start and in the previews itself, it says at this point “this is a NO TALKING ZONE. If you have a problem with a loud neighbor then write it down and the manager will give them a warning.” It also says messing with your phone is just like talking.

At this point I think great. Everyone must respect this right?

Not these guys. They talk through out the entire previews. At this point I’m like, god they’re annoying, but it’s still only the previews.

The first scene of the movie kicks in. The guy next to me says something to his buddies and giggles. He says it in a volume like he’s at his damn house.

That made me snap because I figure this movie requires a lot of concentration. It’s pretty distracting in a movie if you’re on edge just waiting for the next time someone talks and laughs too loud.

Right away I say, “Are you guys going to talk through the whole movie? Do I have to write down a complaint?”

The guy next to me scoffs and the guy in the middle says “What did he say?”

I think I actually heard a sorry from one of the guys. At this point my adrenaline’s pumping and I try to concentrate on the movie not sure if they would ignore me and continue talking.

After that, it seemed like they mostly whispered but two of the guys checked their phones at least twice. That got me annoyed again and I was thinking about writing a complaint for the manager. They were actually mostly quiet after that and I was able to relax and watch the movie. I think if I didn’t say something they were going to talk and comment for 2.5 hours.

At one point, I went to the bathroom and then noticed that my neighbors were in a stall near me. Mandy noticed that when I went to the restroom two guys went in after me thinking perhaps they were looking to beat me up.

They weren’t. They were just regular guys. Who tries to fight a guy when they’re the ones being obno in a movie theater? That would be pretty dumb when everyone just wants to enjoy the movie. The last thing you want to do is get in a fight and get kicked out.

I think part of the reason i have that dream is because it has happened to me a few times. I remember one time I was in the Philadelphia airport and parked my rental car at the airport instead of turning it in one week. I forgot exactly why I did that at the time. In a youthful, naive move I believed I could memorize the parking number. Of course after a long weekend I have no idea what the parking number is. In fact, i have no idea what terminal i parked it at.

It’s one thing to be able to spot your own car in a large parking lot. It’s a car that you see basically everyday of your life. It’s another thing to find some indiscriminate white Chevy Malibu in a sea of cars. To top off my problems, it’s also very dark and I’m dragging around a full size suitcase and a laptop bag.

I must have gotten lost for at least two hours, I can’t really remember, but I know it felt like an eternity because i wasn’t just walking in a large parking lot, I was walking from terminal to terminal because there was parking all between the terminals and i couldn’t ride a train because then I might have missed it.

There was no better feeling of relief than pushing the remote and and hearing the car beep when I finally find it. My legs were burning, my arms were burning. and I was already tired from the commute.

In a not nearly as severe a case, Mandy and I came back from the airport after 4 days in Mexico last week. I wrote down the parking lot number this time: D12.

The weather outside is blazing hot and we’re dragging large 50 lb suitcases.

We got out in straight shot and we see A12, then B12, then C12. Guess what letter’s next? That’s right E12!

After first we walk to the left of E12 thinking that it would miraculously change to D12 but it doesn’t. This lot walk isn’t a short distance either. It’s for LONG TERM PARKING so it’s a ways out there.

After walking all the way to the left doesn’t work we walk all the way to the right. I wasn’t sure what the next step was if D12 wasn’t that way. We didn’t have much energy left. We were going to need someone to drive us around like that Seinfeld episode in the ball.

Luckily D12 popped up to the RIGHT of E12 and all ends well.

We won our first game by about 78 points. In the second game we were losing by about 58 with one game to go. You get points for every game you win but you also get a bonus points if you win the total of all three games. This means for at least the extra point, it was kind of close going into the third game.

The lane on the left had been having some pin setter problems all night. The last bowler on the opposing team bowls a 9 on the first ball in the tenth frame. The pin setter malfunctions and it clears out the one pin left and reracks it. The guy bowls again. At first I thought he was just going to go for the 10 pin that would have theoretically been left. Maybe he was but he misses it completely and the computer gives him a X|8 on the 10th frame with one ball left. Some of us are watching him assuming that he was going to fix something in this mix up but instead, he goes up there to bowl the last two pins ready to take that score!

I call him out on it and I say, “What are you doing? You had a ten pin left.”

He acts all obtuse and says, “It reracked it.”

I’m thinking, uh SO? He repeats this like 3 times. Whether or not the pin setter malfunctions doesn’t mean you get to go again AND take a strike. To me it was ridiculous. It’s one thing if it reracked it and he was starting the 10th frame over, which isn’t right but not as detrimental to the total score as taking a free strike on the first ball.

Everyone in this league has been in it for a while and EVERYONE knows that if the pin setter clears the pins, you have to call the front and tell them to set the same pins. This game wasn’t even close to being over for total pins.

So I’m lecturing this guy about what the rules are and then his buddy starts talking to me.

He says, “What’s your name?”

I say, “Tom.”

He says, “Look just calm down and mind your own business.”

I’m like WTF. I tell him, “It’s my business when I’m playing against you guys and you’re cheating.” My head was going to explode. How was it not my business in a game I’m playing against you?! It’s one thing if he told me to mind my business about a game 5 lanes over!

He sort of shut up after that. We finally get the last pin set and of course the guy misses the 10 pin.

By game 3 we’re all nit picking each others scores because the pin setters are messing everything up. We have to correct 7s to 8s and replace split after split.

My adrenaline was really going from the argument and I was worried that they’d win and I’d do terrible and he’d laugh at me. I wasn’t sure if I could even bowl after getting into a yelling match but I was ok. Got a couple of spares  before I calmed down.

Good news is we did pretty well and beat him by 88.

Good night of bowling!

After only one week of him living with us, I needed to take him along to Dallas while I was visiting my parents. My mom has a little Maltese that’s really short and skinny but has a Napolean Chihuhua complex. He’s a possesive yappy dog.

Freddie and Coconut immediately did not get along. I had to constantly be in between the both of them. I felt like the person on television on the Dog Whisperer trying to keep two pit bulls apart except that this fight involved two tiny little dogs.

Since both dogs never backed down from each other, they started pee marking things with great frequency. First Coconut would pee on a couch that Freddie just jumped off of. Freddie peed on Coconut’s crate while coconut was in it! Coco is much smaller than Freddie so Freddie basically peed on his head. Luckily he only had a few drops.

In retaliation Coconut peed in Freddie’s food bowl! Luckily the bowl was empty.

Maybe when Freddie gets older those dogs can get along.

fred

coco

Here’s a high quality link:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1k08yxu57NA