The Movie 2012 Has Too Many Damn Close Calls

I was watching the movie 2012 at my parents house the other day and man is it dumb. I actually want to finish the movie because of a funny plot line but I didn’t have the chance.

I remember when disaster movies were first popular and kind of decent. I liked Independence Day and Armageddon a lot. I tried to watch Indenpendence day the other day and it doesn’t hold up but at the time it was really good. Will Smith punching an alien in the jaw and knocking him out was funny back then but kind of ridiculous now that I think about it.

I remember seeing it in the movie theaters and one of the best parts of the movie is when the aliens blast this city and people are running for shelter. At the very last second, the family dog ducks into a shelter with flames right on his tail but gets to safety in the nick of time.

The theater bursted into applause.

In about the first 30 minutes of 2012. John Cusack has death defying close calls at least 3 times. Not even the “whew that was kind of close kind” but rather the most ridiculous “death is 2 inches away kind.” I don’t want to spoil the movie but you’ll see what I’m talking about.

When you have this many close calls in a movie, you really cheapen them. Believe me, I didn’t applause at any of these because I knew he would get away and it was pretty preposterous.

In contrast, take the close calls of the HURT LOCKER. What was best about these completely believable hairy situations is that you actually didn’t know who would survive and who wouldn’t. When I watched the movie, which was way before the Oscars, I had no idea who was the star of the movie. That actually made the movie really intense for me because I didn’t know who would survive what.

I’m starting to get annoyed at these movies that look like video games like 2012 and Die Hard 2 million. I already play video games and like to get drama from my movies. Avatar gets a pass because of the 3d but that kind of movie is just for entertainment, not art.

Elevators Are Awkward

At work, people range from being my friends, to being acquaintances, to face recognition, to total strangers.

If they are my friends I of course have no problems chit chatting with them while I wait for the elevator.

If they are people of only face recognition or total strangers, I have no responsibility to chit chat with them and they appear to feel the same way.

It’s those acquaintances that make it really awkward. At quitting time the other day this acquaintance pops up at a long elevator wait. Now I’ve had many many conversations with this acquaintance before but they’re just an acquaintance. The problem is that we’ve had so many conversations before that a 0 chit chat zone made it feel really ackward. Luckily at the last minute before full awkwardness I ask the person if they would be travelling in the near future. Thank god that person had a full slate of traveling in their new future and it became something we could easily talk about as the elevator arrived.

It’s not that I don’t want to talk to people but if you don’t talk to them on a regular basis, how do you find something common to chit chat about?

The only guaranteed subject is talking about the weather in Texas. Since it’s always changing there’s always some cliche remark you can make about it.

One of the worst times when I did a chit chat panic is when I told this person I heard the freshest fish arrives on Monday. The guy looked at me like I was crazy. For some reason in the midst of forced chit chat I remembered some guy told me most resaturants get their shipment of fish on Monday and I was about to go grocery shopping for fish. Bluh!

Food Network on YouTube

After a year of just doing simple recipes that I found on the internet, I decided that I wanted to try harder recipes.

The problem with harder recipes in a book is that sometimes it’s hard to decipher exactly what the recipe is telling you.

For example, I’ve read how to make a poached egg before but I didn’t really understand the instructions. I saw Giada de L do it on the food network and all of the sudden I’m a poached egg expert. We even bought a poached egg machine that was complete crap.

After creating this:

I figured that the foodnetwork would be my source for new recipes. Unfortunately, with only a few episodes to choose from a day, everything that they show on tv isn’t exactly what I want to cook since Mandy and I are on a low carb diet.

To my delight, I just found that the FoodNetwork has thousands of recipes on YOUTUBE. At first I tried the foodnetwork website but I guess they’d rather just put it on Youtube instead of dealing with bandwidth issues.

http://www.youtube.com/user/FoodNetworkTV

Embarrassing Jimmy Johnson Commercial for Extenze

JJ is still on television so I don’t know why he’s endorsing this. He must really be hard up for money.

Hard up…

I’m Mediocre At a Lot of Sports

I’ve played several different sports in my life, bar sports included, and I’m pretty mediocre at a lot of them. Two of the ones that I’ve played for many years once a week is bowling and pool. I’m about a 160-170 bowler. For the average person, that’s pretty decent, but I’ve been a 160-170 bowler for a long time. I don’t seem to be getting any better. Some nights, like last night, I feel like I’m getting worse. And of course other nights I feel like I’ve gotten everything figured out. Pool on the other hand, I’m a little less than mediocre. A lot of people off the streets who don’t play in a league could probably beat me. I was 5-1 last season and 2-1 this season but that’s against pretty mediocre competition. I usually just play other low level people.

I played tennis in high school and was extremely mediocre. I made the varsity team for a few seasons but not a ton of people tried out for the tennis team. I played soccer in middle school and was also nothing special. I was into Jujitsu for 2 years and was very good as a beginner but fell into mediocrity when I became a blue belt. I play basketball once a week with my friends and of course I’m medicore at that. I used to play golf once a week and was just bad at that.

For all of these sports, I’m good enough to have fun at it but not good enough to compete at a whole nubba level. There are a couple of things that all of these sports have in common.

1. I don’t practice or compete at any of these things more than once a week.

2. I don’t have a coach showing me fundamentals or how to improve. I had a great teacher in Jujitsu but my main problem in that is that I would just go once a week. I also could never attend the advanced class due to my schedule.

So what is there to do at 35? Give up? Try harder?

I think the thing that would be easiest for me to improve upon is bowling. I’m actually above average in bowling but just barely. To actually break through my plateau in bowling, I would actually have to break down my entire form and rebuild it. Even though I would have to do that, experience in bowling in my old crappy form would still be very valuable because I understand lane conditions.

Mandy and I are thinking about taking some private tennis lessons. I found a teacher that would teach 2 people an hour for 15 dollars a piece. I think that would be fun. The only problem with tennis is that it would be hard to practice enough. If I’m not playing against Mandy or against an opponent, I wonder if there are many effective drills? I don’t feel like hitting against a wall is that great a drill. I know that I when I hit against the ping pong table it doesn’t really simulate a real game.

I wanted to get better at Jujitsu but that’s another sport where you can’t really practice much by yourself. You can work on your cardio and stuff but mat time is mat time and would probably require me to go to a class at least 3 times a week. I still haven’t given up on this but I’m still trying to figure out a good schedule for this.

I can’t get much better at pool because the only way I could get enough practice with that is to have a pool table at home. I don’t really want a 2000 lb pool table in my house that I can’t move when I need to.

I think I should just break down and take those bowling lessons. I’ve always wanted to get good enough at something to enter tournaments. Back when I was a kid I used to enter TKD tournaments. I medaled and trophied a few times but TKD is kind of a tall person’s sport. It’s like boxers with a long reach typically do better than boxers with stumpy arms.

Heavy Rain for PS3

This happened just last night:

PlayStation 3 owners are being warned about a major error affecting PlayStation Network, the console’s online gaming and shopping service. According to dozens of forum posts, owners began to experience problems getting online yesterday, receiving the following message:

“An error has occurred. You have been signed out of PlayStation Network (8001050F)”

Basically anyone who has an older PS3 can not play online since last night. That’s not actually a big deal to me. Lately I’ve just been playing Madden against the computer and haven’t played online in a while.

What does bother me is yesterday, I bought my first PS3 game in a long time called HEAVY RAIN. This is not a multi player game. I put in the disc last night and after a couple of update requests, the game says, “could not update trophy information. The game will now quit” and then it boots me to the ps3 main menu.

After wasting time changing my password on the playstation network I check online and it turns out to be a system wide issue that Sony is  still trying to fix as I write this blog.

Until Sony gets this online problem fixed, I can’t play my single player game that I just bought.

Disappointing!

Check out the demo! It’s amazing looking!

Captain Janks Fools Scot Van Pelt Live on Sportscenter

Apple is So G Rated. The Apple Approval Process.

For those of you that don’t know, the only way to get a program on a non jail broken IPhone is through Apple’s App Store. Apple approves each application individually. The process normally takes no more than two weeks. They even review updates.

I have a couple of games on there now and have been trying to come up with new ideas.

So I get this bright idea to make a “Strip Poker” program for the Iphone using these cartoon models that you can pose and dress. I use this technology now in my adventure games. Now I know Apple doesn’t approve programs with nudity or pornography. My initial idea was to get them down to bra and panties and then have a link to a web page for final nudity. Since the nudity wouldn’t be in the app itself I thought maybe they’d be ok with. And it’s not like these are real models.

Now making a poker program on it’s own is a lot tougher than I thought. Just dealing with the AI and the mechanics of cards and randomization is no easy task but I work through it to make a poker game that isn’t very hard but pretty slick. I’ll post some pictures later. I didn’t even want to make the poker game very hard because people aren’t really playing it to get a poker challenge. This whole process is about a month’s worth of work.

Now mind you, I wouldn’t think that I could get a strip poker program on the Iphone if there weren’t about 10 other strip poker games already there. I figure my program wouldn’t be any worse than these.

I get my game finished and submit it for approval. I get an immediate rejection that says it thinks my Icon is basically too sexy saying that although I’ve marked my game for 17+, younger people can still see my icon. The icon was just a woman from the cleavage up but it showed nothing. So I change that and resubmit it.

I get a second rejection that says it doesn’t like the images of the girls covering their breasts with their hands in the game. So I get rid of that and resubmit it.

The third rejection just sends me a form letter saying it violates one of their submission rules about objectionable, adult, or pornographic content.

I assume they mean that link that takes you to the nude portion so I delete that and just as I was about to resubmit it, I read this on the statesman that came from the New York Times.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/02/23/technology/23apps.html

It’s basically saying that Apple has removed almost all lingerie and bikini apps. WTH! This exactly coincides with the timing of my game. How the hell did I have this bright idea right when they were tightening up their approval process?!

I thought it was a really decent idea too. One of the most successful games on Iphone is called Pocket Gods. The main draw on that game is that you get a game for .99 but the hook is that it’s updated all the time and the updates are free. I was going to do that to my strip poker game too. In the end I wanted like a hundred different combination of models and clothes.

That article speculates this new level of control is due to the IPad coming out and they want everything to be completely family friendly.

To checkout the validity of this article myself I look up “Strip Poker” to see if those old apps are still out there.

They are all gone. Back to the drawing board. I guess I better just concentrate on finishing the triology of my adventure game and try to brainstorm some new ideas.

Epic Beard Man Interview After the Fight

I Knew People Could Use Built In Web Cams To Spy on You

So several weeks ago I wrote about how freaky it is to have a built in web cam on my mac.

http://tommybear.com/?p=1239

I thought it would be easy for people to learn how to turn these on remotely.

It turns out someone did use these to spy on people but it’s not who I thought it would be. Tt was a school district!

http://news.yahoo.com/s/pcworld/20100219/tc_pcworld/pennsylvaniaschoolaccusedofcyberspyingonstudents_1

“A Philadelphia-area school district finds itself under scrutiny after remotely activating a MacBook Web cam and capturing a young stude nt engaging in “improper behavior at home.” The student was confronted by a Harrington High School official and shown photographs of his actions.”

It’s unbelievable. I mean, what did they catch him doing at home that’s inappropriate in the comfort of his own home?? This is pretty sick that the school thought this was ok. They claim that it was set to use to catch people who tried to steal the laptop yet this laptop was never reported stolen and they told the student he was behaving inappropriately at home.

Mounting a TV

I got a 32 inch tv from my lovely wife for my birthday. It’s a tv just for my office.

Since the room isn’t that big, my first thought was that I should mount the tv. Now I don’t know anything about mounting anything. I’ve always heard that you should hang things on studs but I’ve never intentionally done anything like that. I’m sure I’ve hit a stud on accident before when hanging a picture or something but I’ve never hung anything very heavy.

I go to Fry’s the first time to get a mount and I have no idea what I should buy. It’s not like LG had a mount there that was exactly compatible to my tv. Most mounts would say up to what screen size it could hold and it would just say fits most brands. I checked one of the packages and it showed this guy using a drill into a stud and it just seemed like a lot of hastle so I said, forget it, and headed home. The mounts were also kind of expensive ranging from 40-100 dollars.

I go home and put the tv on a stand but then imagine how much nicer it would be if it were perched a little higher and mounted. So the next week I go back to Fry’s determined to just figure this out. A lot of things I’ve learned as a home owner over the year seemed mystical in the beginning until I actually tried to do it then it became easy. Some things also stayed hard like painting numbers on my curb.

So I picked a mount that was compatible up to a 32” flat panel.

The first thing I do is use the stud finder to find the stud. Strangely enough,…

Read more »

Old Fists Of Fury

New YouTube phenomenom Ward sent me about some bearded guy.

He beats this other young guy up in self defense on the bus.

Never seen such fury caught on tape!

mortal combat version:

Kevin Was Too Fat To Fly?

This is Kevin Smith, otherwise known as “Silent Bob”

It was reported today that he was basically kicked off of a Southwest flight because he was too fat. He had bought two seats for a flight but then when he tried to fly standby he was kicked off because he couldn’t put the arm rests down.

I was a consultant who flew 2 flights a week for about 7 years. My very first flight for work I sat next to a guy that had put the arm rests up. It was one of those small commuter planes. I knew next to nothing about airplanes around that time so I hadn’t really set up any personal airplane rules for myself. Like I don’t think people should cross their legs into my area or if I’m not using the armrests at all, I sure as hell better not feel the tip of your elbows bleeding over.

It was kind of gross when that guy with the arm rests up kept touching me with his arm because there was no barrier. I don’t think I should have to be put out because I fit in a seat but what could I do? Force the arm rest down and let it dig into his obliques? I guess I had no choice but I do find it interesting that there’s now a policy where you have to buy two seats or you get kicked off. I guess that would be motivation to lose weight instead of having to have your flight fares double any time you go anywhere.

So  Mandy and I have bought extra tickets before for extra room at the ball park. It was only Dell Diamond so it was only an extra 10 bucks or something for more room. The last time we did this, we sat next to a family and the dad just felt like putting his kid in that empty seat we bought. We didn’t make a big deal about it because it was just a tiny kid. We were later put out when this rowdy kid switched seats with him.It seemed weird to bring it up that point so we just moved out of our seats completely later.

What if I were a fat person and bought two seats and then someone moved right into my seat thinking it was open? It would be pretty embarrassing to say you bought two seats for your girth.

Still Annoyed At the Superbowl

I picked the Colts to win by 5 for the Superbowl. Of course that’s a fail. I’m still annoyed because they looked really good in the first half. They also looked fantastic when they stopped them on downs on the goal line. The Colts were also playing really good defense holding the Saints to a pair of field goals in the first half.

After half time, the Colts were up 4 and had the ball but then what happens? A freaking onside kick. I think it’s possible that the Colts actually had recovered it at one point but it eventually got wrestled away.

I’m annoyed at stupid Hank Basket, back up wide receiver for the Colts, for letting the ball hit him and not being able to pick it up. If the Colts had recovered that and got a short field, it would have been beautiful. But that’s football. One play can change the momentum and outcome of the game.

And now football season is over. Here are my hopes for next season.

Texas gets back to a national championship. This most likely won’t come true but it’s hard to be excited about a lesser game considering they got to play in 2 national championships in like 4 or 5 years.

Cowboys do better.

Favre comes back.

Making Dinner

My parents never taught me how to cook anything. If I asked them, they would happily tell me how things were made but I never asked.

By the time I got to college, I still didn’t cook anything. I lived in the dorms the first two years which meant that I ate in the cafeteria all the time or ate potato chips in my room. By my third year in college I moved to an apartment which meant that I had to start figuring out how to feed myself. I think all I ever bought at the grocery store were varieties of microwave foods like hot pockets, pizza, and frozen dinners.

I tried cooking twice. One time I made some pork chops which were disgusting. The recipe made some oily gravy and I think I cooked the shit out of it. The second recipe I tried was some stew with meat and potatoes. That went horribly wrong because I guess I didn’t stir it or something and just left it simmering forever. This caused something to burn in the soup and there were flecks of ashes from something swimming in it. Every sip tasted like an ash tray. Of course I didn’t try to eat much it and dumped it. I made a huge amount.

After that I completely stopped trying to cook for a very long time.

Now I try to cook several times a week. It’s nice to have someone to cook for. It’s not really fun cooking for yourself. When you cook for yourself you cut a lot of corners and don’t try as hard. When you cook for someone else, you’re trying to do a good job. If I get salmonella, I don’t care. I’d care more if I gave Mandy salmonella.

This is How Weak The Palm Pilot Is

I had a Palm Treo for like a year. I bought it because I had a soft spot in my heart for a Palm Pilot because I used to write some programs for it several years ago. I even bought it instead of the IPhone. Of course the Iphone just came out recently at that time.

I’m still on the e-mail list for PALMGEAR, one of the first Palm Pilot software hubs, and they sent me some promotional info about “new products.”

Right now IPhone developers are creating amazing apps, check out what’s coming out for the palm pilot:

That’s right. That’s Alice in Wonderland on your Palm Pilot for 3 dollars.

Here’s an app that logs how long your phone calls are.

It’s kind of weird that these are their fresh apps considering they really hyped up the Palm Pre not too long ago. The Palm Pilot is going to go bankrupt in about 2 years.

Jay Leno Tells Oprah Kimmel Sucker Punched Him

When I originally watched this I wasn’t sure if Jay knew this was coming:

Reporter Getting Bitch Slapped For Saying Wrestling is Fake

Back in the day when pro wresting tried to pretend that it was real…

Hoarders Are Just Lazy

You ever watch this show Hoarders on AE?

Here’s how AE describes the show:

“Each 60-minute episode of Hoarders is a fascinating look inside the lives of two different people whose inability to part with their belongings is so out of control that they are on the verge of a personal crisis. Whether they’re facing eviction, the loss of their children, jail time, or divorce, they are all desperately in need of help.”

Some of the people on the show definitely do have a problem parting with their belongings. For example people might collect a bunch of junk like pill bottles because they think that some day someone will need them for something like a bead collection. Or they’ll get as much scrap metal as they can and put it all over their front yard because they think it’s like savings for their grand-kids but for the most part, it’s worthless. Those types of people are truly hoarding. But I think sometimes that show can’t find a real hoarder for the week so they’ll find people who are just really dirty.

For example, there was this family that had like 3 kids and several cats and dogs. Their house was trashed with trash. Not things they were trying to save because they thought it had memories or that it was worth something. It was just trash, like food wrappers and wadded up paper and things like that. But even that didn’t make them not hoarders to me. The key thing for me was that there was dog shit everywhere they wouldn’t attempt to clean. People may hoard animals and stuff, but people do NOT hoard shit. There was one episode where one guy wouldn’t clean up his dogs hairs because he had this superstitious belief that once he did that his dog would die. That’s different. That’s an irrational type of hoarding. These people who would not clean up their animal’s poo were just LAZY. You’re telling me that all 5 people in this family, including the kids, are can’t part with dog poo? Just scoop it up and throw it outside or something! You’re just lazy!

They’re so lazy in fact that the kid started sleeping in the shed instead of trying to clear a space in his own room. People who live by themselves are true hoarders. If you live with someone else, there’s at least one person in that house that’s just really really lazy.

example of “hoarding”

Wishes Tommybear Taiwan Would Buy Me Out Already

I wasn’t the first person who owned the domain tommybear.com. I actually emailed the first person that had it and they said I could offer them money to take it over. I forgot why I even bothered all those years ago. Of course I refused to pay any money but I did notice that their ownership was going to expire in a few months if they didn’t renew. The guy who owned the domain didn’t do anything with it. It was always under construction or something.

A few months later I checked back and indeed that guy had let the domain membership elapse and I took it. I have had people actually call me and email me about wanting tommybear.com. But they offered me something ridiculous like $100 which is way less than I’ve spent over the years on messing around with my stupid blog. It actually used to also be the web front for my Palm software. Of course the Palm Pilot is horribly stupid now and since Go Daddy is so cheap, I can just make a new website every time I release an Iphone app.

I figured the people who have called me in the past about my domain were small change. I just googled tommybear.com a few minutes ago and I noticed there was a tommybear.com.tw. The tw meaning Taiwan. Surely this Taiwanese company would like to offer me a substantial amount of money so that their web interests won’t have to type in an extra .tw. Tommybear.com.tw, I want at least 10k for this domain and you can have it scott free.

sample of tommybear.com.tw product.